I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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