we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize