Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
this hospital has no fireball
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
