do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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