no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
