In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
