Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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