So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize