I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
