Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
