Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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