we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize