If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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