Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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