Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
where am i from again
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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