I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My bed smells like the plague
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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