Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize