So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have demons in me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
