finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
and you fell through a lawn chair
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
