I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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