...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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