Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
