i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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