Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize