I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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