wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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