you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
