This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
