Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
