My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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