the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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