New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just gift wrapped bread.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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