She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
