I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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