He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
