Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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