just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize