Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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