just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
