their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
ttyl tear gas
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
