I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize