Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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