she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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