Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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