you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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