weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
