what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
