thus making me awesome and them whores
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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