Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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