New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize