i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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