Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
