last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
