Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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