her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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