you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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