when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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