if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
