He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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