Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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