how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
