But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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