Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
