I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
